"But for the Grace of God..."

A week ago, Victoria came into Pittsburgh with the pro-life ministry.  She and I were running behind the rest of the group, so we approached the abortion facility alone, two young women walking down the sidewalk... so it was understandable when the "Pro-Choice Escorts," in their bright yellow vests, asked us if we were here for the clinic.  Before we had to answer, one of the other escorts pulled them away.  I've been in the situation before when, as I approach an abortion facility to pray, someone tries to talk me out of having an abortion, but I've never gotten it from the pro-choice side.

Earlier that week, I was in downtown Steubenville with the homeless ministry, chatting with a couple guys outside the shelter.  Another student, whom I didn't know very well, came out and began to introduce herself around, chatting up the crowd.  She, like a lot of us in the ministry (I pray to combat this in my own self), had the tone and inflection of charity in her voice as she asked me my name and if I was from around here.  It was clear that she didn't realize I had come in with the college crowd.  I laughed inside when it happened, but later caught myself thinking, Why did she think that?  Do I look too old to be at school? Do I look homeless?  What about me made me look homeless?  Why did she think I was homeless? 

The next week, I made a similar faux-pas at the Unity Kitchen, a food ministry downtown.  I sat at a table where a woman my age-ish was sitting alone and started chatting.  She very quickly assured me that she worked for a job evaluation agency and she was here observing someone, not to benefit from the services of the Unity Kitchen.  Her Lunchables gave proof of this.  

These three incidents stuck with me.  There's a country song (I like this version better) that comes from, I believe, an old saying, "But for the grace of God go I."  Recently, CVN had a video contest to answer the question : "Why do you serve?"  This line is a common answer to that question.  "I serve because not everyone has the blessings that I have.  Because, but for the luck of my birth, there go I."  

It is a beautiful, generous sentiment, but I think it misses the mark.  If I look into the eyes of another person and see what I could be, I lose something.  We should look into the eyes of another and see what we are.  (Not who we are, a unique and unrepeatable person, but what we are, a child of God, created in his image and likeness, with infinite value and worth.)  In that glimpse, when the eyes of another mirror the image of God in me, I come one step closer to understanding the way in which we are all one -- as John Donne put it, the way in which "no man is an island... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind."

This truth issues to us an incredible challenge, and, as my discomfort with these situations shows, I am far from rising to it.  But when it boils down to it, that is the reason to serve (and, on my good days, why I serve): not so much because others lack what I have, but because others have what I have -- the imprint of God in their very being and an indelible connection to the rest of humanity.

Misunderstandings

Being pro-life to me means a consistent ethic of life.  When I hear rhetoric about "the sanctity of life from conception to natural death," I take it at face-value.  All life is valuable and no human being has the right to take that life away.  I admit tough cases: self-defense or the protection of others/society.  However, the death penalty, in most cases in modern America, falls very clearly on one side of this line.  It is no longer about self-defense or defense of society, but rather about retribution, couched in language of "justice."

Hopefully, I don't need to point out the ways in which this pastor is wrong.  Asher shared this article with me a few weeks ago; give it a read-through.  A Southern Baptist seminary president makes the case that the death penalty supports the sanctity of life.  Why?  Because it affirms the value of life.  The article does not make clear in its quote exactly how Albert Mohler supports this claim by any logic, probably because no valid logic really can support his position.

Let me be clear: when we decide as a society that we can kill someone who has committed a crime, we act from revenge and retribution, not justice or self-defense.  And most assuredly not from a desire to affirm the sanctity of all life.

Things I Learned in Christology Last Night

"When you're being attacked by barbarians, you don't have time for leisure."

"Salt is neither explosive, nor is it a neurotoxin."

Cliff Notes on Life

My last bout of posts have been more about things and idea than about my life.  So in case you are wondering here's the bullets:

• All the fun things in my life lately have revolved around food, it seems.  Adventures making pumpkin cheese cake and beef wellington with Ginny and Will (new characters!), a successful red velvet cake for St. Michael and St. Vincent, Victoria's spaghetti sauce.  Even non-food adventures have revolved around food: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
• Not helping this idea: the highlights of my week are the ministries I've joined through the Works of Mercy.  The Unity Kitchen, where we serve food and eat with people; and "Hang Out with the Homeless."  While it's heartbreaking that there are kids at a homeless shelter, last night I got to be a T-Rex and eat a pterodactyl (and be a mommy pterodactyl), as well as learn about Cleopatria.
• Shakespeare Live brought A Winter's Tale to campus last night.  While I couldn't stay for the whole thing, I got to see the vast majority of my favorite Shakespearean play.  The group was hilarious.
• Two of my houseplants died during the major moves at the end of the summer.  My third plant, however, the spider from my VSC year, though extremely traumatized by the moves, is still alive.  Not only is it still alive, but it is growing new tentacles and reaching toward the window... reminding me that even in the gloomy, rainy weather, someone sees sunshine!
• I can't believe it's October!  Where did September go?!

Boys From Men, Part II

Here's another perspective on femininity and masculinity.  I think it's a facile treatment of complicated social trends, but I have a hunch not much research has been done to figure out what is going on, let alone why.  However, these ideas are coming out more and more in the media...

I'm especially curious to hear a male reaction to this opinion piece about "Why Men Are in Trouble."

Separating the Men from the Boys

I posted this article on Facebook Sunday to complete an earlier conversation.  It generated a lot of conversation, so apparently it has more value than simply inspiring a feminist rant.  I use the term "value" loosely -- it inspires conversation, not just Beth-rants, which are a dime a dozen.

So first, read here: "Do Men Think Smart Girls Are Unattractive?"  It has a provocative title and is a quick, easy read.

I've heard praise and critique for various parts of the article but here is the Cliffs-Notes version:
1) It should be satire.  (Thanks, Julia!  I agree!)
2) Some men are intimidated by the challenge to a better self that smart girls pose.
3) While some smart women want to be full-time mothers, even conservative women get upset at his overarching generalizations.
4) Buono doesn't even answer his own question.  (Read carefully.  It's true.)
5) General expressions of overall disgust and fury.

It's easy to see where Buono starts to go wrong: the title. Men shouldn't be pursuing smart girls. That makes them pedophiles. They should be pursuing smart women.  Let's start by setting the genders on equal footing.  You are men.  We are women.  If you are boys and we are girls, we need to start by talking about how to grow up.

He then shifts the question.  It's no longer about "smart girls." The problem isn't intelligence.  It's that women are successful, driven, and pursuing a career, which Buono assumes happens because they can't find a man who's grown up and decide it's the next best option.  But really, they are only "career single women" because they have "no incentive to be otherwise."  Not, heaven forbid, because she actually likes engineering or public relations or teaching or computer programming.

He does have a few good lines.  I've had a small sampling of masculine support for his claim that smart women intimidate men with the challenge of what they could be.  And it is true that "a woman will give the world to a man she knows loves her, respects her, and accepts her for who she is."  But sometimes a part of that love, respect, and acceptance is realizing that she really is a person with passions and pursuits outside her family in the public realm.

On the flip side, as a classmate pointed out, women need to stop effacing themselves in pursuit of men.  I think women face a voice whispering to them: "You're not good enough."  (I don't know if men encounter the same problem.)  When we don't believe that our best is good enough, it's hard to put forth our best.  It will fail and the backlash will hurt.  So we hide ourselves and offer only little pieces shaped into what we believe society wants.  (That's a drastic picture; it happens on small levels.)  It's scary how subtle and pervasive these influences are.  Even smart, confident women hear them and react.

Okay -- end rant.  Please comment!  Disagree, correct, clarify, and especially enlighten me!  I only have the experience of myself and a few others to go on -- and the world is bigger!