On Pearls

First, read the intro to this series here.

50 Ways to Be a Woman: #3

Certain fashion staples will always remain timeless. A few conservative dresses, a string of pearls, a nice handbag and a good pair of pumps should always be in your wardrobe.

If the last item on the list was about knowing what you are communicating to the world by how you present your body and choosing deliberately, this item suggests that there is a particular image that ought to be presented.  Conservative dresses, a string of pearls, a handbag, pumps---these are timeless, classic, and professional.  For a woman, this wardrobe communicates: I am comfortable with my femininity and I am a woman to be respected.  While there are ways beyond pearls to do this, the message carries:

When I Said Fruit Salad...

First, read the intro to this series here.

50 Ways to Be a Woman: #2

Dress modestly. Gain attention through who you are rather than the parts of your body you choose to expose. It is worth far more in the long run.

The first two items on the list have to do with women's bodies.  The first item I rewrote to focus on the importance of being in touch with our own bodies, of knowing the physical part of our body-soul self---and knowing how to limit it as necessary.

Graceful Embodiment

First, read the intro to this series here.

50 Ways to Be a Woman: #1

Practice good personal grooming habits. If you are going to have colored hair, keep your roots covered. If you are going to have fake nails, keep them filled. Take care of your skin, take care of your teeth. 

I want to go a few directions with this one, so please bear with me.  First of all, my inner feminist is screaming because at the top of the list of how to be a woman, we are told to cover our roots.  This superficial approach to our femininity can be seen as the cause and effect of so many gender problems of our society.  I could go off on a rant about these....

The Art of Womanliness

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am starting a series taking a Thought Catalog list of "50 Ways to Be a Woman" and annotating it, one item at a time.  I chose this list from convenience (it appeared on my Facebook) more than any completeness of the list.

One Down, Three to Go!

I have finished one semester of the PhD program and I have learned that when life is full, the extraneous things fall away.  Most of the extraneous things, I haven't even missed. However, I do miss blogging, and so I have come up with a plan for the coming year.  Once a week, I will write a post inspired by a list I found of "50 Ways to Be a Woman."  Consider it the prequel to my Catholic feminist manifesto.  Await it eagerly, my friends!

How Far Is Too Far?

How far is too far? -- Not how close is too close.  I ran across an Ethika Politika piece the other day that piqued my interest because the writer articulated some of the feelz I have in an accessible and non-emotional account. 

It deals with couples (and individuals) who eschew all/almost all physical affection until marriage.  These are the side-hug, no-hand-holding, first-kiss-on-the-altar type folk.  While the idea of purity appeals to me, something about this manner of courtship has started to bother me more and more since I first heard about (and considered) it in high school.  

When Women Refuse Consent

Let’s talk about consent for a moment.  Consent is this important concept that derives from the basic principle of autonomy.  The relationship is thus:

1. I have the right and duty to exercise my free will (autonomy).
2. The existence and exercise of said free will means that I am an actor and not an object.  I acted; I am not acted upon.
3. Sometimes, I am acted upon – for example, a medical procedure.  Because I am an actor, I must give permission for this “acting upon.”  This permission is called consent.
4. I have a right, under ordinary circumstances, to know/be told what will be done to me, what the possible consequences are, and what my other options are.  
5. If I refuse to give this permission, I should not be acted upon.

Papas and Princesses

From a secular and science-oriented perspective, this article expresses so much of what I believe about femininity.  We need to expand our vision of femininity to include areas that have traditionally been excluded -- including, but not limited to, the STEM disciplines mentioned here -- rather than focusing on excluding traditional aspects of femininity.

Why I Should Go to Mars

In the debate over women in the military, the question of physical ability is often raised as a sort of trump card—no matter my philosophical reasons, what if men are just more physically capable of performing the job?

When Men Disappear from Fertility

Last week was “NFP Awareness Week,” and, as usual, I am showing up late to the party.  Although my party started actually before said week, when I read this response to a BuzzFeed on contraception.  The actual post is not my cup of tea (I am not so much about slogans and sound-bites), but the comments are, wonder of wonders, well-moderated!  After reading the NFP post, the contraceptives post, and the NFP comments, I found myself thinking, “There’s something missing here.”

Ephesians 5: Not in My Words

Have I mentioned that I want to be Simcha Fisher when I grow up?  (Seriously, a snark, balanced Catholic blogger who publishes awesome books on NFP.)

The Best Hobby Lobby Article That I've Read

A week ago, I followed SCOTUSblog's Twitter eagerly, waiting with bated breath for the Supreme Court's decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores.  Someone else in the office was clearly getting his news elsewhere, because I heard his victory cry before the verdict appeared in Twitter.

Mistress of Her Own Soul

When a friend sent me this article to blog, I thought, “What a great title!  Maybe I can just post it without many of my own words, and let my 3.14 readers see that other people have awesome things to say!”  And then I read it.  And then, about ⅓ of the way into reading it, I realized who wrote it.  And then I realized I would have to post it, but with some of my own thoughts too.

Marc of Bad Catholic and I have an interesting relationship.

Beauty and Desirability

As I prepare for a big work meeting, I have less time to ponder the mysteries of life.  Even so, I try to keep up with my regular reading, and so I offer you this article by Leah Libresco on “Making a Home for the Homely in Romance.”

Men Who Get It

In the light of tragedy, a couple of good pieces on privilege have shown up.  These pieces strike me all the more because they are written by males.  The general perspective is that, while most men are not jerks/creepy/violent, violence against women stems from certain manifestations of male privilege, and so to change things, men must change.

For Extra Credit: Go On a Date

For your entertainment, my 3.14 readers, try this story about a professor who gives students extra credit for going on dates.  Actual dates, but ones involving no physical intimacy:*

The date has to be 45 to 90 minutes long with a person of legitimate romantic interest.

Cinderella Ate My Daughter

I was going to write an insightful piece on privilege… but it turns out Jezebel already said everything I wanted to say, although I would have done it with considerably more politeness and the presumption of charity to the poor soul who sparked the debate.  It's a shame, because I was going to be insightful and witty, but there is no point to yelling on the interwebz the same things that everyone else is yelling on the interwebz.

So I will channel my pent-up feminist energy into a quick and dirty review of a book

A Calm Feminist Discussion

Once upon a time, there was a feminist movement.  And it was needed because a woman could not buy a house without a man.  She could not get a credit card without a man.  She would make less pay because she was not a man or be refused jobs because she was not a man.  She could be fired if she got pregnant and was refused admittance into many colleges and universities because she was not a man.

Things of Value: On the Economics of Sex

I am slightly late to the game on this one, but I'm going for it anyway.  Assume it's because I have been thinking deep thoughts, and not because something in my genes makes me perpetually late.

This video on the “Economics of Sex” has been making its rounds through the various circles of the internet lately.  I like it and I don’t like it.  I like it because it is good -- as craft and as a communicator of truth.  I don’t like it because the solution isn’t quite that easy.

Flirting (Or Sleeping) Your Way to Friendship

My poor deluded hubby doesn't think I'm awkward.
Bless his heart.

A while ago, I read a couple articles on flirting and posed a few questions about flirting and relationships.  One of these questions was: For what purpose is flirting acceptable?  Unacceptable?

I have had friends accused of being flirts, accused friends of being flirts, and (consciously and unconciously) flirted with guys in whom I had no romantic interest.  My flirty side tends to come out when I am meeting new people and when I am mingling in a large group.