When I Said Fruit Salad...

First, read the intro to this series here.

50 Ways to Be a Woman: #2

Dress modestly. Gain attention through who you are rather than the parts of your body you choose to expose. It is worth far more in the long run.

The first two items on the list have to do with women's bodies.  The first item I rewrote to focus on the importance of being in touch with our own bodies, of knowing the physical part of our body-soul self---and knowing how to limit it as necessary.
The admonition to dress modestly seems to have less to do with the knowledge I have of my body and more with how I present that body to the world.  Rather than trying to define modest (or going on another rant about how much I hate "modest is hottest"), I want to suggest a principle that all girls should learn as they become women.

How you present your body to the world matters.  It communicates something, and you don't get to decide the language.

Our bodies are the visible parts of ourselves in this world and they are how we communicate to each other.  Communication happens because we have a common language, and it is part of being a mature woman to know that language and use it appropriately.  Our dress, our hairstyle, our makeup, it all communicates something in a cultural language.  And it is naive and a bit silly to pretend that we can use the language but not communicate the meaning.  If someone were to say, "I'm having fruit salad for dinner," and expect me to understand that they had a glass of wine, I would be justified in replying, "But that's not what you said!  Those words do not communicate that!" The same thing goes for how we physically present ourselves.

This presentation isn't limited to modesty.  It means knowing how to be suited to your profession or daily activities or whatever situations you may encounter.  A swimsuit says "Beach" or "sunbathing"; a suit says, "I mean business"; a wedding band says, "Married."  Of course, (just as with spoken language), we can choose to subvert, redefine, purposely misuse, but we must do this "wordplay" with the realization that it might hinder communication---people will understand us to mean something other than what we are trying to say.  And while we can educate them to try to change meanings, we should not be surprised or upset that they assume a different message.

At this point, I think I can rewrite the Way of Womanhood #2: Know and choose what you are communicating in how you present your body to the world.

The third item on the list also deals with presenting ourselves to the world.  It will be the last one dealing with women's bodies before we get into how women act.  #3: "Certain fashion staples will always remain timeless. A few conservative dresses, a string of pearls, a nice handbag and a good pair of pumps should always be in your wardrobe."