Two for the Price of One

Two rants for the price of one.  Are you ready?

Actually, neither of them are rants --

I came across two articles on two distinct yet related issues recently.  Most things I hear/read on these issues make me want to throw things across the room, possibly at the speaker,
if he or she is physically present.  (Charity: a virtue I am still working on.)  These two articles stuck out then, in that I did not have said reaction.

So first I will share with you this blog on modesty and then this blog on chastity.  A caveat on the first: it is not well written, or particularly well-reasoned and not addressed to the right audience, but his general idea is incredibly spot on.

Jefferson Bethke’s main point is that modesty is good, but the way we present and focus on modesty can objectify women’s bodies.  He put his finger on the aspect of the modesty dialogue that has been bothering me for so long.  It is a tricky topic to address well because modest dress only matters in light of the fact that other people are sinful.  One cannot be immodestly clad except in regard to another person.  So the modesty discussion must happen in the context of “Other people have sinful tendencies and they are our brothers and sisters.”

In our culture, we don’t like limiting our actions because of how they affect other people.  “Why should I change how I dress because of how a man might perceive me?  He’s the one that is wrong!”  We need to learn again the importance of our responsibility for each other.

But if we are going to expect girls and women to change their dress because of male reactions (since this is where most modesty apologetics focus), we do need to combat the pattern that Bethke notices.  Presentations of modesty that focus more on women’s body parts than the whole picture -- “Present yourself in a way that is helpful to others in seeing the whole you, because as fallen human beings, they are going to have a hard time with that” -- use objectification to combat objectification.

The other article linked above also falls into the category of “Things Related to Sexuality that Christians Have a Hard Time Expressing Well.”  I like Liz Cotter's eight pieces of advice because they are concrete and realistic.  (Also, this one time she gave a really great talk about why girls are crazy and Taylor Swift.)

Advice like “don’t go near the edge of the cliff” is great for casting vision, but not so much for living it out practically.  On the other hand, “Save Your First Kiss for the Altar” is very practical, but not realistic for everyone.  (There are also variations of the “Father Advice,” which is neither, and the “Future Spouse Advice,” which is silly because I like to pretend my husband never so much as looked at another girl.)  This take is delightfully refreshing and from personal experience, I know that these guidelines help.