Cinderella Ate My Daughter

I was going to write an insightful piece on privilege… but it turns out Jezebel already said everything I wanted to say, although I would have done it with considerably more politeness and the presumption of charity to the poor soul who sparked the debate.  It's a shame, because I was going to be insightful and witty, but there is no point to yelling on the interwebz the same things that everyone else is yelling on the interwebz.

So I will channel my pent-up feminist energy into a quick and dirty review of a book
I just read: Cinderella Ate My Daughter, by Peggy Orenstein.

The Book:  Using Disney culture, from princesses to Miley Cyrus, as a lens, Peggy Orenstein investigates the impact that “pinkie-pink” and “girlie-girl” innocence has on the emerging sexuality of pre-tween girls.

The Good: A quick and engaging read that skillfully mixes objective data with anecdotal illustrations to give the readers a vibrant picture of her work.  It can be hard to reach a proper balance of the two, and Oreinstein does.  Also, unlike some writers in this area, she is unafraid to move from the is to the ought.  She expresses righteous outrage and dislike for some of the things she discusses, while still offering a nuanced view of the reality behind it.  For example, her discussion of toddler beauty contests illuminates the admirable parts of the families involved, while refusing to justify the thing itself.

The Bad:  It can be summed up in this sentence: “I expect and want my daughter to have a healthy, joyous erotic life before marriage.  Long, long, long before marriage.”  As always, the is to ought is a double-edged sword.  An author having and expressing different moral views doesn’t always count as a negative -- while I disagree, I don’t think Orenstein’s desire for a lesbian doll house family necessarily has a negative impact on her work.  However, the attitude in this quote does matter in this work it causes Orenstein to miss some of the impact that the “wholesome to whoresome” culture has on girls.  In addition, while she critiques the platitudes spoken by mothers and social scientists on how to raise girls in a healthy manner, she ends the book with similar lines.

The Recommendation: Read it.  Then discuss it with me.